John had just come back from his
milk run
to Costco where he got paid 400 dollars
a pop
for a twenty minute trip to deliver pop not milk which was good because
John didn't have
six bits
to his name.
John had a
nose for
the news
and had heard that someone was going to get
canned
so when he got back to the warehouse he looked through the
junk mail
while waiting to see who it was.
His boss had been
riding
him
for a week and
needling
him
and calling him a
nerd
in hopes that John would quit.
You see, his boss who was a
dead head,
had asked John to deliver
a truckload of bikinis to Home Depot and his boss wanted
John to
carry the can
for the mistake.
John had try to tell his boss that it was a mistake but
his boss said, "
can it
you're nothing but a
fifth wheel
around here."
He knew his boss was about to make him
walk the plank
for getting
egg
on his face
.
He knew his boss
was not one to say
the buck stops here
and take the blame,
but more likely to
leave
his employees hanging. His
boss walked up to him and said, "
Hi!
you're
canned,
you`ve been
cut."
John felt that he had been
rail roaded
but he thought that perhaps his boss was just
kidding
him.
He started to say, "
lead a life,"
but his boss interrupted him and said."
Get lost."
John knew that his boss (who pretended he was a real
square)
was hitting the
the big O.
He wanted to tell his boss to
dry up
and thought about
fingering
him to his wife and tell her that the boss had
a
girlfriend
on the side
who he refused to
drop.
Not only did he have a wife and a girlfriend his boss would
hit on
every girl that he saw! With what he knew, he had enough
juice
to
get the boss to take him back, but who wants to work for a
jerk. When he left the
warehouse everyone stopped to watch him leave so
he shouted to them,"
Get a ticket"
and he slammed the door which went
bam
and and all the door
hardware
rattled.
A few minutes ago he had just finished saying
TGIF
and was looking forward to
jamming out
with his
boom box
and
jam
with his friends. Life was the
pits
and to be fired was
heavy.
He couldn't decide if he wanted to
nuke
his boss or try to
make up
but decided to
drop it
but it really
burned
him up
to
carry the can
and to get
canned.
He looked down in his hand and found a
chain letter
that had been in the
junk mail.
He never, ever
joined up
to chain letters. The
chain letter
said, "
Throw a banna cream pie in the face of the name at the top of the list.
Mail this letter to 5 other people.
He put his boss's name on the
top of the list and mailed it to everyone he knew.
That should
even
things up
a bit.
Idioms in the Story
can even up join up junk mail lead a life nerd nuke rail road six bits TGIF the big O the buck stops here walk the plank chain letter a pop fifth wheel boom box cut dead head can it carry the can drop it drop dry up get a ticket get off your soap box make up milk run mix you up needle bam hardware heavy hi hit on jam out jam kid leave me hanging ride me nose for news on the side pits juice burn up finger square zap jerk get lost egg in the face